Paranoia Agent
by unknown-rostam
Summary: David Konakawa takes a holiday to New Orleans with Sasha and Charlie. But something incredibly strange happens... is the secret of the dogs finally out?


ADGTH Characters belong to Goldcrest. Many events belong to Satoshi Kon, NinetalesUk, and Shalion. "Paranoia Agent" belongs to Satoshi Kon. However, fan characters belong to me. Please don't use them without my permission. Also I am English and just using "vacation" because David is American.

One, two, three…

PARANOIA AGENT

Chapter 1

New Light

MALE ANCHOR: And in other news, a historic artefact has been unearthed beneath the Gulf of Mexico in Louisiana Bayou.

The object, apparently a giant warrior, is currently being examined.

FEMALE ANCHOR: The huge ship in the bayou has been discovered to contain pool tables, gambling equipment, and a photo is currently being deciphered. The scientist Dr Kosaku Tokita has stated that the werewolves seen last year may be explained by the evolution theory of Charles Darwin.

David woke up. He stared at the clock and tried to go back to sleep. At least, part of him did. Another David woke up, ignored the two dogs sleeping by his bed, went downstairs and had a drink. Then he went back up to his room and watched TV. Another David woke up and went to the fridge. The first David went to brush his teeth, and two Davids traded places in the shower. Finally they all joined back into one and David smiled at the mirror and left the bathroom.

(Ani*Kuri15 Easter Egg)

08:00

Konakawa's House

DAVID: Charlie! Sasha!

As you know, the year is 2016. The Flea Bite had since been sold off, so Sasha could live with David. David was now 28.

Charlie and Sasha ran downstairs and began to eat from the food bowls. David stood up and picked up the phone.

DAVID: Hello, this is David Konakawa!

…

Yes, I'm still going.

…

Yes, two pets.

Just then Charlie looked up at what David said next.

Yes, New Orleans.

Charlie practically fainted just then. But instead, he ran round his food bowl three times over, and then wagged his tail like mad.

David put down the phone and turned to see Charlie.

DAVID: Someone's excited about going back.

TEN DAYS LATER

The plane was relatively empty for a flight to New Orleans. Only two people were on the flight.

CHARLIE: How come we don't get first class?

SASHA: Don't worry, it'll be fine. New Orleans! Remember?

With that, Charlie was quiet.

RAA EE YAA RAA RAA EE YO AA

SORA NI MIGOTO NA KINOKO NO KUMO  
RAA EE YAA RAA RAA EE YO AA  
KOCCHI DE NE O HARU KOTORI NO MONO

STEWARD: Ladies and gentlemen, we will be there in approximately 10 minutes. Meanwhile, please enjoy the rest of our in flight music.

WA KOMOREBI NO SHIBARITE O FURETE KIMI TO KATAROU  
HORA RANCHI NO BENCHI NO UE DE YUME WA HANASAKU  
UNMEI NO SONO MUNE  
YUUUTSU WA SHIZUMETE  
HASHI O ASU NOBASHI  
TSUNAMI NADO ANZURU KOTO NAKU

RAA EE YAA RAA RAA EE YO A

SORA NI MIGOTO NA KINOKO KUMO  
RAA EE YAA RAA RAA EE YO A  
KOCCHI DE NE O HARU KOTORI NO MONO  
RAA EE YAA RAA RAA EE YO A

RANCHI NO BENCHI DE SODETETA YUME  
RAA EE YAA RAA RAA EE YO A

KOMOREBI YOMU HI NI UMARETA MONO O

14 minutes and 29 seconds later, the plane touched down.

08:45

The motorway

A woman drove her car on the normally busy motorway, a perfect time to as San Francisco was just awakening from the night. She decided to stop off at the abandoned building for a closer look.

Inside, she saw dogs wearing clothes and shoes and standing on their hind legs like humans.

SHOPKEEPER: So, you've been itching huh? Must be these summer fleas. Here, apply this and it should get better in no time.

The scientist looked on, not in awe though. Her brother had told her about talking dogs. She summed up the situation, and then ran back out to her car as her phone rang.

SCIENTIST: Yes?

TOKITA: Atsuko! I've just deciphered the photo! It shows five dogs standing in a row, standing on their hind legs! And the best part…this will be going live tomorrow!

ATSUKO: …On TV?

TOKITA: Yes! Isn't it amazing?

ATSUKO: … … … No, not really.

Tokita hung up at this.

Atsuko looked up at the roof dumbly.

ATSUKO: If only David were here… He could explain.

Chapter 2

Suspense

09:00 

2014 Hotel

David opened the door. Inside were a double bed and two dog beds for two pampered pooches.

DAVID: Perfect! Nothing like a vacation once in a while!

Just then, his phone rang.

DAVID: Yes?

ATSUKO: David, I know it's early, and you're on vacation, but…

DAVID: Sis!

David coughed.

DAVID: Well…half sister… w-What is it?

Atsuko was surprised that David had changed excitement level twice in one sentence.

ATSUKO: It's about those dogs…

DAVID: Uh-oh…

ATSUKO: Tokita just discovered a photo of them in Louisiana Bayou…I don't think I can stop him from…

DAVID: What?

ATSUKO: …Sigh. Telling the whole world on TV, okay?

David paused.

DAVID: You mean to say that the BBC, the NBC and the NNN, etc., will be broadcasting Tokita telling the world about the Konakawa family secret?

ATSUKO: Exactly. 

MEANWHILE

402 Maple Street

The young woman walked up to the door and smiled. She touched the door, the vision of a peeling blue house, finally decided to be unsold after the Walit couple had moved into a retirement home. Anne-Marie smiled, thinking of her past. The Walits were here adoptive parents, and she had spent her life with them. Despite this, she did not change her name from Chono to Walit. Thinking of the first time she met them, she smiled one more time at where to go next.

09:00

An Old Attic

Several puppies and a mother dog were sitting in an attic watching an old television, only just in colour.

ANNE-MARIE: Someone order a pizza?

PUPS: Pizza!

A little while later, the pups were sharing the pizza between each other. Anne-Marie smiled at this as Flo came to sit down beside her.

FLO: Thanks, Anne-Marie. I can't believe I was crazy enough to have more pups.

ANNE-MARIE: Don't mention it. It's a shame Charlie was the male role model to them.

FLO: Yes… How is Charlie, anyway? I can't believe he survived a psychotic kid twice. (DO NOT ASK, it's out of print and hard to get hold of. PM me if you want one.)

ANNE-MARIE: Psychokinetic. He's fine, except for the you-know-what early this year.

THE NEXT DAY

10:00

Louisiana Bayou

Charlie decided to show Sasha the ruin of the casino at the Bayou. But as soon as they reached the casino, something terrible met their eyes.

A large pit bull was standing in the middle of the floor, shouting "WOE!" repeatedly. Some dogs were howling in despair. Others were outright crying.

CHARLIE: Hey, what's up?

Carface looked up. Too upset to care about Charlie's return, he shouted out what had happened.

CARFACE: Some mad scientist is about to blurt out our secret on live television! It'll be all over for us in a matter of minutes.

Charlie gulped. This would mean that the last 100 years building up a world, and the work of a century's worth of dogs would be shattered by one man in a second.

Suddenly, the television in the corner flickered to life. As if on cue, Dr. Kosaku Tokita was about to announce his findings to the world.

TOKITA: Well, we have discovered a casino in the Louisiana Bayou and a photograph. Mildly scorched by pure psychic energy, which is nearly impossible to harness except for the bearer. The photograph has proved to have extremely advancing contents. As you know, last year an event took place involving the sighting of a werewolf by the late Maria Chono. The incident was lost to time following the event of, shall we say, #28's awakening. But! Science has proved the answer. Charles Darwin discovered the concept of evolution, explaining the creation of the human race. Now, our photo has shown a group of dogs able to stand on their hind legs, wear clothes and operate cameras with their paws. Behold!

Dr Tokita held up the photograph. It showed Charlie, Carface, Flo, and two dogs from the casino standing on their hind legs and putting their 'arms' around each other.

Needless to say, the photo caused great disruption. The billions of people watching the event on television gasped and stared. The remaining people were contacted about the event. Anne-Marie, watching the television in Flo's attic, just stared down at the floor, being the only human to do so.

Chapter 3

Okkakekko

Meanwhile, a group of children ran through a field. An eerie breeze blew through the grass. They kept running, until on the horizon they looked like small human shapes holding up their arms and running. The children had run across the fields to play with a giant scary robot. Some children ran from the robot. Some followed it round. Some rode one it, but not for very long. A child stared at the robot, which passed by him, and then walked after the children in it's giant strides.

This field was – nowhere. I didn't appear in any supernatural plane, or on any planet. (ALIENS EXIST!)

Chapter 4

Break up

ATSUKO: How could you be such a fool?

TOKITA: I'm a scientist. It's only natural we reveal such a big thing to the world.

Atsuko sighed.

ATSUKO: You're not doing that again.

TOKITA: I disagree. Tomorrow we're going back to Louisiana Bayou, and scanning DNA. Then we're going to search for the dog-run establishments.

Atsuko swore and smacked Tokita's chair. The chair hit the wall at exactly the same moment Atsuko stormed out.

TOKITA: Hmm?

Tokita turned his chair round, and put his hands together in shame.

06:00

New Orleans Dog Pound

CHARLIE: Carface, quit shoving!

CARFACE: I can't help it!

Charlie and Carface finally managed to get down the stairs to the basement of the pound.

Many dogs turned their heads towards them. Charlie walked up to one cell, or rather, blocked off pit in the ground. It contained a large, dark Doberman.

DOBERMAN: I suppose you're here for answers.

CHARLIE: Yeah, what would happen if humans discovered us?

DOBERMAN: Put simply, it could mean the end of the world. Why? Have they…

Just then, four people came down the stairs. One had blonde hair arranged in a flame shape. One had goggles over green hair. One of them had purple shortish hair, and the other had slightly red and shorter hair.

BLONDE: Perfect. You start drilling.

The two women got to work on the pipes, while the men, inspected the nearby desk.

PURPLE: Well, well, what have we here? A German Shepherd and a pitbull. Hmm…interesting. I think we'll keep these.

All but one of the dogs had been freed when an door was opened at the top of the stairs. The four of them escaped out a hole in the wall.

A warden stepped out of the doorway and came down the stairs. The last dog was brought out of the cage, and taken upstairs to the Room.

The four people just knocked him out while he was in the room and left with all the dogs, including Charlie and Carface.

GREEN: Finally, we'll be able to get a raise in our miserable salaries.

TERRIBLY SHIFTY GUY: Don't count on it.

PRETTY SNEAKY GIRL: We'll be lucky to get a thanks from the boss.

SERIOUSLY SKETCHY GIRL: Well, let's hope. This is quite a big score.

VERY SHADY GUY: Yeah, we'll be lucky if Miror B. pays us for this.

The four of them climbed into the front of their van.

Chapter 5

The Final Battle?

The van headed for the Louisiana Bayou, then sharply turned a corner. The van pulled into a house. Unknown to them, Anne-Marie had seen them pull out of there yesterday.

A group of police cars, David and Anne-Marie sitting in one, had been following them at top speed. The police filed into the house, to see the four people along with a man wearing a gold disco suit.

DAVID: Freeze! You're completely surrounded!

The man turned to them.

MIROR B.: Oh, dear, darrrrlings! You seemed to have allowed yourselves to have been followed! How awful is this? I'm afraid we can't play today.

Miror B. dropped a smoke bomb, and escaped from the Mayor's house.

DAVID: Mayor Es Cade, are you okay?

ES CADE: Oh yes, I'm fine. I wonder who those strange people were?

MEANWHILE  
IN A SECRET LOCATION IN TVLAND 

Dr. Tokita was just about to reveal the findings of the latest experiment.

TOKITA: Unfortunately, no new information was discovered. One of the DNA samples was revealed to be expired. Furthermore, the image of the dogs and the Louisiana Casino could have been set up by their owners.

Perhaps what was more surprising was the next announcement that the police had stormed and abandoned building.

The people watching on TV groaned. Tokita left the studio and was faced with Atsuko.

He slipped a staff picture of the Flea Bite out of his pocket. He winked at her and left.

She looked on at him, then smiled. The secret was safe.

On her way out, she failed to notice the mark on the floor.

ROUJIN Z

CHAPTER 6

Come Home

Charlie lay on the bed next to David. He felt the pain in his chest, the aching of all his body that he had felt twice before. Only this time, there were no murder or heroic rescues involved – just the pain of living too long. The pain of losing Sasha had been enough for David and Charlie.

DAVID: Charlie, are you okay?

CHARLIE: I'm fine, kid. Why do you ask?

DAVID: You don't look fine. As soon as Atsuko comes back, I'll take you to the vet.

CHARLIE: Look, I don't need to go to the vet, okay? I just need…to sleep.

David tensed himself, then sighed.

DAVID: Well, if you're sure.

David got up and left the room, and Charlie fell into a deep sleep.

Suddenly, all of his aches stopped. A warm glow flowed through his body and he looked up. He saw a large blue ball floating in through the window.

ANNABELLE: Charlie… come home Charlie.

Charlie got up, looked back at the room and leapt into the blue column of light.

A woman with white hair flung the door open.

N: No! I missed him this try… But I can tell that this time will be more like the first than the second… His love of life will allow him more authority over Annabelle… I can use this…

She smiled and left the room.

HEAVEN

Charlie came out through the other side of the tunnel, face to face with Annabelle.

ANNABELLE: Oh hello Charlie.

ANNABELLE: He-hem…Welcome to doing whatever you wish… Eating whatever you please… To a constant different climate, we keep it seventy-three degrees… Welcome to no more rat race… Welcome to order and calm instead… Welcome to being dead.

CHARLIE: Yeah, yeah, I'm here again.

ANNABELLE: Twenty years are up Charlie.

Charlie waited for a moment, then realized.

CHARLIE: Hey! You called me Charlie!

ANNABELLE: Why of course!

A short dog covered with medals floated past.

REGINALD: To tell you the truth Charlie, this was all just a big scam to make you crack and get sick of Earth.

Charlie looked at Annabelle.

CHARLIE: I guess it is kinda nice here…

Charlie took Annabelle by the waist.

CHARLIE: So… you wanna dance?

Annabelle giggled. She brushed away the several angels floating up with a green shirt for Charlie.

ANNABELLE: Your love of life really taught me something. It looks like you finally got your love from a stranger.

CHARLIE AND ANNABELLE: Today there was sun, they said there'd be snow…

Unknown to them, Itchy and Sasha sat on a cloud watching.

SASHA: Sigh…even in Heaven, there are surprises…

ITCHY: And it doesn't bother you? I mean, seeing him with her?

SASHA: Not at all. I always suspected there'd be someone else up here for him. I just didn't expect it to be Annabelle.

Even Charlie deserved some form of Paradise. And if it was the Heavenly Whippet, then so be it. Sasha drifted away from the cloud.

ITCHY: Where're you goin'?

SASHA: I have a choir to direct. If you'd care to join me…

Itchy watched Sasha float through the nearest cloud, then followed her. From a cloud floating past, a border collie watched her.

REUBEN: And that's the way it is.

NEXT FANFIC

REUBEN: So, you want a vision. Well, many paths with weave throughout New Orleans… and they shall all cross… Slowly… Secrets shall become reality… I see a man…


End file.
